As published in Brainz Magazine.
7 hints to help you identify and overcome a ‘beige’ attitude to get better results.
Ever had anyone tell you that you are being ‘beige?’ Is it an insult, an observation, a call to action, or simply a response to your neutral state of involvement in a project or life in general?
What does ‘being Beige’ mean?
Here are 7 hints to help you if you have fallen into the beige zone.
1. Choose your path
Taking the easy path, being beige, neutral, vanilla, mediocre is a choice and often an excuse for not starting or finishing the projects, ideas or dreams we planned and hoped to achieve. We all do it from time to time but our personal reasoning – our subconscious thinking, behind these decisions, is something to be aware of.
There is nothing specifically wrong with beige. It can be beautiful. Calming even. A space where colour and vibrance can be added. Or not. At times being neutral is just the right place to be, however if it is an excuse or escape route then another choice might be worth exploring.
Suggestion: Think about what ‘being beige’ means to you. Step back and notice the times you feel like being neutral, hiding or just not participating. Be aware of your mindset. Consider your choices and the consequences of those choices in the moment.
2. Be honest with yourself
Before you do this, be honest about why you have chosen beige rather than standing out, being noticed, or taking a stand on a situation you feel strongly about. Does the choice to hold back come from fear of the perceived fall-out of being seen and heard? What if people do not agree with you? Criticize you? Judge you? What if?
This is a mindset issue that can contribute to loss of confidence, self-esteem, and stress.
We all have our beige moments and sometimes they are needed to check in with our thoughts and actions, or even reactions. Can these times be considered as a neutral zone or are they perceived as a safe space?
Suggestion: Make a commitment to be completely honest with yourself without judgement. This is not a blame game but an opportunity to gain clarity with your thinking. Note the stress triggers as they come up.
3. Find a great sounding board who will be honest with you
I remember a time when was struggling with a challenge and feeling stressed about it, so decided to share my lack of clarity with one of my chosen ‘sounding boards.’
She knows me well and is also a coach, so understands mindset, the way we think and how our thinking has a direct correlation with our actions and therefore our results. As well as her intellectual knowledge, you have the most practical, honest, and down to earth person who doesn’t hold back with her opinion. If you ask.
We spoke about my reflections, and she simply laughed and said “seriously, you are sounding “Beige” and that’s not who you are. You wouldn’t allow any of your clients to be beige. They would be challenged to look at the real issue and acknowledge their honest thoughts and feelings around them. Then you would look to solution. The right action for them to get the results they want.” Yep, she was right of course.
Suggestion: Your ‘sounding board’ should be someone who will be honest with you without pushing their own view to try to convince you that their way is the right choice for you. This is about you, so keep it that way.
4. Have a coach or mentor
This ‘neutral mindset’ came to mind recently with a client, when I saw she was playing the safe game. Attempting to manage what she could control and not overstepping the mark where she may find pushbacks or negative responses.
The result of course, was not productive until she looked at what she could achieve with a change in belief and attitude. Rather than stepping once again into safety, she had choices to make, and whilst they would have consequences, they also had the potential outcome to be life changing in a positive way. Stepping into ‘safety’ is not always a safe or desirable place, although it can seem comfortable to go into a holding pattern until it’s time to actually land
Failure was a word that bubbled to the surface during our discussion, until I reminded her that there is no failure, only feedback, with the opportunity to welcome new learnings. Being open to the inspiration that comes from trying something different. Creating new possibilities can cut out the everyday noise and distractions that can hold us back. Looking for options and opportunities rather than what we believe (or pretend to believe) is right and true for us. It’s all about choices.
Her outcomes included a decrease in stress and an increase in confidence and self-belief.
Suggestion: Have a coach or mentor to work with but ensure you find the right person for you. The right fit. It’s also important to work with a coach who is qualified.
5. Recognise the beige zone
Sometimes we stand strong with our views and hold tight to our values, but at other times we if we are in a challenging situation we drift into the ‘beige zone” and allow circumstances around us to control our results. This is a mindset issue where we can be open and curious with a growth mindset, or we can have a ‘stay and defend’ fixed mindset.
There are times when silence is a good thing. Being reflective and contemplative enables you to regroup and neutralise the overwhelm. Give yourself permission to stop. Simply stop. This is not to be confused with being beige.
Procrastination is a challenge I hear about often, and to be honest it’s not always a conscious decision, but rather avoiding doing things we don’t like to do, or don’t know how to do. All too hard to even think about, so avoid, postpone, put off and sometimes just neglect the task. It’s bound to eventually go away. Or not.
Suggestion: Look at the task or issue for what it really is. Think about what resources you need to accomplish it, and get the help you need. Work on the desired outcome, not the task itself.
6. Find something that drives you
Personal purpose and passion around climate action, regeneration, inclusion, and equality is something I bring to my coaching path because it is important to me to be part of what is possible here. Am I making a global impact with taking a significant role here? No. Let’s be honest, it is miniscule. However, I am taking some action. I am choosing not to be beige. I am choosing to step out, sometimes slightly fearfully, and sometimes with massive confidence.
Suggestion: Your purpose and passion around a specific issue may not be directly linked to your career path, but that shouldn’t divert you from participating in things you believe in and feel strongly about. It is about balance.
7. Next step
Take some time in your week to check in with your thought process and the actions you are taking, and just notice if you are being even a tiny bit beige. If you are, then great – at least you know. Seize the opportunity to acknowledge this and make the changes you want and need to make to give you the results you want and deserve to have.
Where to start.
- The thing. The issue. The challenge. What is it really?
- Look at, think about, and feel what you want to create.
- Think about why you want it and get emotionally involved with this outcome.
- Look at, think about, and feel what that outcome will get for you.
Remember, being “Beige” is a choice. Is it the right one for you? Sometimes it is. You can decide if, when and why. There is an outcome for each.
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